Sunday evening reflections...

In the midst of a good amount of solitude I had this weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed the company of radio - especially for listening to several people have a conversation and to feel some sense of belonging across the airwaves.  While eating lunch yesterday, it felt better to be hearing a panel of people speak on some subject as opposed to simply listening to music.  It certainly was something I was conscious of (without having planned it that way.)  What it's like to feel part of a conversation without actually being in it.  

Today it was virus and rail blockade topics on the CBC.  Last night it was Saturday night blues.  Before that it was "C'est si bon" for older and/or classic songs in the late afternoon on ICI Musique.  For whatever reason, I took more distinct pleasure in not filling my time with the usual reruns of TV series than I normally would.  I found and pushed myself to be really engaged in simple things: reading and taking notes for health issues, listening to Italian language lessons while doing laundry, trying to create and repeat something on the piano, or using reflexology on my feet for various tensions, to name a few.  

What I was feeling most proud of (and determined about), was the ability to eat a meal without having to stare at a screen.  (Trust me; it is very rare I eat alone at home and not watch something.)  Thinking back to a time when studying for a Cambrian chemistry exam decades back, I can remember hitting the books for 5 hours on a Saturday morning, totally losing track of time and feeling great about all that prep put in for it.  I didn't think, "Aw, man...I really wished I was doing something else."  I desire to find that again, if and when I can.  But I also find it extremely easy to distract myself with far too many ideas or side-tracks.  I wonder...is that not sometimes worse on the psyche than binge-watching Barney Miller and zoning-out?

Part of why I'm writing this now, is that I wonder what it is that people do and feel when they find themselves with a good amount of solitude.  Do they often need to structure their time or can it flow over various activities and still offer an overall good balance in their lives?  Do they feel guilty if they piss it away binge-watching things or become far too engrossed in something they wish they wouldn't have occupied themselves with?  Do they feel overwhelmed by all the various activities, pursuits and passions they'd like to spend time on?  Do they struggle with choosing how and when to divide their time on any or all of them?

This is more than my merely having spent a pleasurable and seemingly more fulfilled weekend from what I normally have and reflecting on it.  It's quite likely this is not really all that much about solitude as it is what to spend time doing. Suffice it to say I'm happy to hear if anyone wants to respond to what I've said thus far.