NEWSPEAK (2017 edition)

I'm going to use this page to gather common media euphemisms.  I cannot take any credit for these, I'm just compiling them from tweets and gifs and websites. Add any terms you can find.

NEWSPEAK (2017 edition)

POLITICS
"Conspiracy theory" = Any argument that takes really existing social/power relations into account.
"regressive left" = the actual left which wants to reverse disastrous neo-liberal policies
"far left" = anything to the left of neo-liberalism
"leftwing" = anything to the left of moderate Republican
"socialism" = something bad - otherwise meaningless
"democratic" = something good - otherwise meaningless
"populist" = an insult meaning "too democratic"
"Centrist" = Neoliberalism
"Neoliberalism" =  political-correct greed    
"Republican" = Death-cultist
"Democrat" = Death-Cult enabler and wannabe
"libertarians" = People who think taxation is physical assault and universal health-care is slavery for doctors
"moderate" = supports endless foreign war, privatizing everything and other radical ideas
"balance", "impartial" = any opinion from the center to the hard right
"conservative" =  right-wing extremist, often a variety of Christian fascist
"anonymous government sources" = unaccountable state propaganda or a tool in fights between political cliques
"American interests" = anything the US ruling class wants, usually other peoples' natural resources - but really anything that they covet
"national interest" = what a nation's elite want
"inevitable" = the elites want it
"Human Rights" = Because other nations lack this western powers can topple and enslave them, otherwise meaningless
"West-hating" = calls for an ethical foreign policy.
"I'm not ideological on this issue" =  I am right-wing on this issue.
"I'm pragmatic" = I'm right-wing. (i.e "Let's be pragmatic, we need slavery")
"working for" = stalling to avoid doing what the public wants i.e "We are working for a future where everyone gets free healthcare"
"Effective opposition" = opposition with the same policy agenda as the government.
"Dictator"= the elected leader of a country which isn't kowtowing to imperialism
"King"= unelected dictator of a country which is kowtowing
"Cleric" = means foreign or Muslim clergy.
"Priest" = Western Clergy
"mistake made in good faith by decent people" = another right-wing disaster that every reasonable people said was going to be a disaster
"tragic decisions" = disastrous decisions by rich people that every reasonable people said was going to be a disaster
"tragedy" = when a state agent or employer kills someone and the reporter wants them exempted from prosecution or criticism
"scandal" = crime when committed by the powerful
"both sides are to blame" = when a raging right-winger plows his car into a crowd of people
"All Lives Matter" = White lives matter more
"due process" = Impunity for the powerful
"free press" = corporate press that published propaganda the elites want
"rogue nation" = sovereign nation



MURDER
"direct action" = Killing people
"kinetic action" = Killing people
"engage" = Killing people
"extrajudicial killing" = murder
"defense" = offense (i.e Department of Defense)
"rebels" = western-backed mercenaries
"stability" = repression by Western-backed states
"moderate rebels" = crazed head-chopping jihadists funded by West
"terrorist" = anyone killed by a drone strike
"Regime stronghold" = civilians under state-protection who being attacked by US proxies
"think-tank" = A stealth lobbying group, right-wing, free-market fundamentalist, think-tank. >Often financed by a despotic US ally<
"Aerospace industry" =   arms trade  
“conditioning techniques” = torture
"Promote Democracy Abroad" = War, funding revolutions
"spreading democracy" - instilling a new regime so Western corporations can profit from local natural resources; spreading capitalism.
"Regime Change" = illegal military invasion of sovereign nation
"National security" = The ultimate excuse for wicked and criminal behavior, use as needed
"Nuclear Weapons" = Because other nations lack this, western powers can topple and enslave them (see: Human Rights)
"stumbled into war" = attacked
"dragged into war" = attacked
"sleepwalking into war"  = attacked
“two lives colliding” = cop killed a minority
"situation turned ugly" = minorities/protester fought back
"violence breaks out" = people suffering daily violence begin to physically resist  
"endanger the troops" = Publish the truth.
"stress position" = torture
"support the troops" = endless war, bottomless military spending and veterans living on the street

THEFT
"Profit" = the God we all must worship
"Patient choice" = privatization
"economic reform" = privatization
"efficiency" = privatization
"Outcome based price" = companies decide their own prices for medicine
"the markets" = Rich people
"...hates business" = wants to change some unfair business practices.
"tough decision" = cut public spending to help rich
"live within our means" = cut public services and privatize public assets to avoid raising taxes on excessive wealth
"choices" = the market
"access to" =  allow you to see but not touch i.e "Everyone should have access to healthcare"
"insurance that may" = it won't
"provide care" = provide you with just enough medical attention so you don't die too quickly
"deficit" (1) = a strange demonic skull that can only be appeased by governments sacrificing public funds solely to banks and armies
"deficit" (2) = why we can't have good things
"austerity" =  why we can't have good things since finance capitalism crashed the economy in 2008 and had a public bail-out

Is there an add on for firefox that automatically changes the text when it finds those words?