Fever Ray - I'm Not Done (R/D's Just Beginning Remix)

Youtube recommended this - so it might be fascist or something, it dresses Nordic death-head militarism with white tiger, and dogs and horses - but there is a part of my soul that looks like this, waving flags, winterscapes and chalk-faced animas.

I grew up soaking in the fascist imagery of Industrial music so maybe I'm still numb.

See, I was once part of the gothic-punk wing of the Children's Crusade called the 'anti-globalization' protests, so I have a soft spot for black-clad marches.

When I got lost during protests in Toronto the sudden appearance of a parade of people coming down the street saved me from the a riot-police 'snatch squad'; in Sudbury I organized a march in support of a miner's strike and thought I failed until I saw a big flag approaching over the horizon of a bridge followed by a whole mass of students behind it. We rarely won the political battle but on the street I got to experienced parts of my soul that have haunted me ever since.

Winter returns and I'm a northern pagan again.

I remember a definition of a Christian was someone whose mood wasn't determined by the weather or season. Because you are in touch with the eternal light of God not the variable levels of sunlight. I can sympathize with this but the cycle of season is too powerful, I just have to admit to having a pagan's soul.



Statt up og dansa! (Stand up and dance)



Reis teg upp! (Skoden)

I was sick a few days ago and went outside for a moment and the cold temperature shoved me the ground and laid its boots into me. I could not shake that chill the rest of the night. It began to feel like Winter was a monster.

And it is.

There are animals friends I have now that will not be around in spring. The young will lose flesh to frostbite, the old will be chilled to the bone, everyone will slide their car for a few seconds of terror. It seemed like madness to live here.

And it is.

What makes it endurable is that we where raised by that monster. Just as other people are raised by Monster Sea and Monster Sun, Monster Desert and Monster Jungle, and even Monster City. I still fear Winter (as I should) but I also have to recognize my kinship to it.